Moyo's Diary

Chapter 2: It must have been love

“You don’t like me that much,” Feyi frowns, glancing between me and Addie. “You think I’m a killjoy.”

“I don’t remember saying that,” Addie pouts her lips and rolls her eyes, and I wonder if she ever displays any maturity as an adult.

“Need I remind you?”

She mumbles something to herself and walks out of the kitchen. Feyi doesn’t stop her. She simply ignores her and comes closer to me to embrace me. Before releasing me, she kisses my cheek and I remember how much I love my sister and miss her.

I feel like telling her about everything that happened today but pass her some of the potatoes I just fried instead. She slips two fries into her mouth and thanks me, looking around the kitchen. I know she’s thinking it hasn’t changed much since she moved out. And she’s right. She’s the creative event planner and I’m the nerd. If it’s not broken, why fix it? Besides, Mom doesn’t mind and we seem to work around the kitchen fine.

“How’s Fisayo?” I ask. Fisayo is her husband.

“He’s away on a business meeting. Were you on call yesterday?”

“Yes, I was.”

“Hope you’re not missing mom?”

The funny thing is, when Mom is around, we fight often, and the first week she’s absent feels like a relief. But after a month, I start to wish she was here.

“I’m an adult duh… Besides she keeps rubbing it in our faces how she wants to go and enjoy her husband in the States and we’re the ones getting in the way. So I’m not going to get in the way of that am I?”

It’s the reason why I’m a hopeless romantic. If there was one thing I could boast about in my life, it’s the love between my parents. It’s so envious. I grew up watching them madly in love with each other. When I was a child, I would hear them singing and teasing each other when someone goes off-key. Anytime she calls, she doesn’t hesitate to let me know she’s enjoying my Dad. Sometimes I’m tempted to hang the phone on her until I remember she’s my mother. Although my Dad moved to the States about a decade ago, she visits often. Their arrangement feels really weird to me, but if they’re still together, then I guess it’s working.

I don’t think I can do Long Distance Relationships though. I wouldn’t survive it. I think I’m a lovey-dovey kind of girl and would want to see my boyfriend or husband every day.

“I have a wedding to plan in the next three weeks and I’ll need your help,” Feyi says as she settles on one of the stools in the kitchen.

I shrug. Event planning is one of those things that bring my sister home on the days she decides to visit. I make it easy for her. “You’re staying over and you need me to keep you company…no qualms.”

“Even with your schedule?” She has doubts in her eyes.

“With the both of us in the same room, I know I have to start living like a woman and rearrange stuff but it’s okay.”

“A 28-year-old lady living like a teenager,” she says shaking her head. “One would think you and Addie were from the same mother.” She glances back to ascertain our cousin is out of range and whispers, “For how long has she been here?”

“A month and a half. She returned from the States about 3 months ago and thought she could stop by to say hi.”

She raises an eyebrow. “A month and a half isn’t too long to say hi? I don’t feel too comfortable when she’s around.”

“Well, now that you’re back in OUR house,” I emphasize, “you’ll just have to stick by our rules.”

I finally notice she looks a little lean and quieter than usual and I suspect it has something to do with Fisayo or work but I am careful not to probe. If she is the sister I grew up with, then I expect she’ll come around to tell me when she’s ready– if not now, soon.

Hours after…close to midnight, and I can hear Feyi giggling over the phone with Fisayo for hours. She seems unable to complete a sentence without saying Oh baby.

I feel miserable and lonely knowing she has had this perfect married life for 3 years. I am soon laying on my bed with my furry bear cuddled up next to me thinking of when God would finally give me someone who could love me the way Fisayo loved my sister.

***

Time flies swiftly and I often imagine myself flying with it.

It’s been one week since Feyi’s been around and she makes breakfast when I’m on night call which is quite a relief for me. Some days, my schedule gets so crazily busy that I don’t even come home at all.

The irony of my life is that it’s on such days I find time to appreciate God’s little miracles and the life He’s given me. I get to see the joy on different women's faces when they look at their newborn babies. They’re not repulsed by the sight of blood, but are relieved and happy, thanking God for sparing their lives to deliver the new life that’s been growing inside of them for months. This often leads me to imagine what it would feel like to house a baby of my own too with the love of my life… if that’s a good way to put him.

I seldom retain these thoughts outside the hospital. Sometimes I can literally hear myself sigh when I leave the compound and head home. Addie is a chatterbox so she keeps me company when she comes to pick me up for lunch sometimes. She goes shopping without me because she thinks I have bad taste in clothes but we do everything else together. I see Feyi on days when I‘m not on call or on my off days and we do our bible study together, relishing the fact that we could still fellowship together years after she moved out.

I am back from work and trying to focus on the health newsletter a colleague forwarded to me earlier that day while Feyi is making notes in her wedding planner diary. My phone rings and the first thing I do is check the time.

11 pm.

Who could be calling me this late? I can see the digits displaying on my phone’s screen but no caller ID. At first, I am tempted to suspect that it’s one of those random cheapskate callers, the ones who called at midnight where Feyi and I would waste their airtime while they toasted away.

Feyi gives me a puzzled look that looks like ‘Well, won’t you pick up the phone?’

“Hello,” I mumble. I’m not in the mood for random callers tonight.

“Hey, Lori,” the voice greets.

I gulp as the voice on the other end kickstarts my heart and the tachycardia feeling comes up again.

Omg! Is this real?

I could recognize that voice anywhere and anytime. Yeah, that’s how sad and pathetic my life was in the past and probably still is. I suddenly hate myself for remembering how good his voice sounds or how I could melt just thinking of him.

Feyi comes close but with a worried look on her face. “Well, who is it?” She mouths,

“Hello?’ He says again and I’m sure I’ve been quiet for too long. Words escape me and I rise from the bed to move far away from my sister or any distraction that’s going to make me utter gibberish. Raising a hand to let Feyi know everything is fine, I run to the bathroom and perch on the edge of the bathtub.

“Hey! What’s up..” I try to play it cool even though my heart is beating like crazy and my hormones are probably doing cheerleading flips.

Remi Dauda is calling me! Can you imagine it, Lori?!

“Hey, I like your voice.” He says smoothly over the phone. If he liked my voice, then I’m crazy about his baritone.

“Thank you.” I’m sure I sound like a chipmunk.

“We haven’t spoken since that day we met at the mart. I told you I was gonna call but y’know work and all.” He pauses and when I don’t say anything he continues. “I was doing some work at home and I thought of you. Crazy right?”

“Yeah… I guess so.” I laugh and realize while doing so, my defenses are falling away. Everything seems to be crumbling down at once.

“I got this CD the other day we met and I was just listening to it, remembering how we met again after so many years. I mean we didn’t even have the time to talk or say much and I was thinking, we really should go out sometime, maybe for lunch or dinner. How busy are you?”

“Very busy,” I say because I really have no words and I’m scared of making a fool of myself.

“So, there’s no way you could squeeze some little time for me?” This time his voice is so husky and I know there’s no way I can resist him anymore.

Was he doing this on purpose?

 “I’m free next Saturday.” I try to be precise.

“I like that.” He replies. “I’ll call you.”

“Okay.” is all I can say and I realize he’s waiting for me to hang up before he does.

I hold the phone close to my chest. Is this real? Is this really happening to me? I head for the door just to see Feyi standing right in front of me.

“Well?”

“What?” I try so hard to act calm while I stroll back to my bed, staring blankly at my computer screen, pretending to get serious with work when all I want to do right now is scream and yelp for joy.

Was Addie right after all? Is this how love feels? Could I still be in love with Remi?

If love feels this way, then I’d gladly drown in a sea full of it.

Feyi joins me on my bed and tries to reach for my phone, but I reach for it before she does. She grins playfully and points a chubby finger at me. “You know I’d always find out, if not now, most definitely soon. So just save me the whole ordeal and tell me which lucky guy has managed to steal your attention.”

“He’s just a friend. It’s nothing serious.”

“Hmm, okay oo” She nods like a child. Her reaction is so protective I’m tempted to spill the beans but I know the response I would get if I told her Remi, my crush for 7 years just asked me out to dinner. She’d probably yell her head off and ruin everything like I was some teenage girl in need of her help or interruption in my life.

The days take so long to pass by but Saturday finally comes and I don’t yet have a dinner dress and I’m confused about what to do about it. I can’t stop shaking with excitement when Remi calls to inform me he’ll be coming over to the house to pick me up. His decision to keep the venue of our date secret only serves to spice things up a bit.

Feyi would be going back to her husband’s house today and that leaves only Addie to come to my rescue. She wastes no time in handing me one of the skimpy dresses and high heels she purchased during those times she went shopping without me.

“No way am I wearing that!” I gasp in horror.

“Well, you don’t have much of an option do you?” She sits me down before our dressing table and begins making attempts to figure out what to do with my hair.

I raise the short red dress again and she rolls her eyes at me. “What’s the point of being a woman if you can’t show your curves?”

I gulp. “I’m not doing this Addie.” I look down and continue. “Just do something about my hair and I’ll get a good gown to go in.”

She scoffs. “You mean those A-line dresses that you should have given to charity a long time ago.”

“I’m serious. There’s nothing wrong with my A-line dresses.”

“How old are you?” I recognize the edge in her voice.

“Don’t insult me.” I snap.

”Well, I’m not going to.” She replies and leaves me alone to face the mirror while she strolls over to the door. This is not the first time she’ll play that stupid trick and I know I keep falling for it. I hate it but I glance at the wall clock knowing Remi would be here any minute.

“I’m sorry, could you just help me out, please.” I am beginning to feel desperate now.

Addie gloats as she starts with my hair.

By the time she’s through with my make-up, I can’t even recognize myself in the mirror.

“Oh my!” I mumble.

“I know right?” I can tell she’s excited. She’s always excited when something that will get me into trouble comes up. Something like this. “You look like a doll. Who would have known all this beauty was hidden underneath Dr. Moyo?”

She’s right. I look like a doll without my tiny freckles or blemishes poking through.

“I have a nice bolero jacket to go with your gown.” She rubs my hand gently giving me a satisfactory look. I’m grateful for the jacket and I hang on to it like a lifeline. When I stroll to the living room, I can see her beaming at her handwork. I’m surprised I can even stand without staggering on the strapped heels she encouraged me to wear.

“This gown is short. And I’ll have to sit with it.” A part of me doesn’t feel too comfortable with this dress. I feel like I’m being exposed and revealing everything on my first date with this guy.

“Babe, don’t overthink it. Just go out tonight and have fun with your boo okay?”

“He’s not my boo.” I retort. I wish he was though

“Whatever. But he’s going to be your boo before this night is over don’t worry.” She winks at me and there’s this dreadful feeling sitting in the pit of my stomach.

Is this how I want Remi to see me?

I don’t have time to deliberate further before the bell rings and he’s being ushered in. His expression is unbelievable and I sense the leap of joy in my heart again. His eyes stay transfixed on mine for a while before Addie interrupts us and bids us goodbye.

We’re on our way back home and I am overjoyed just thinking of the dinner we just had. We had a great time in one of those exotic restaurants on Lagos Island; well, I had a great time and see no reason why he shouldn’t have. We talked, laughed, ate, drank, and indulged a little. It felt like A Cinderella Story. The only thing we didn’t do was dance to Edwin McCain’s I’ll Be. I was particularly careful about doing or saying anything that would cause him to pass me off as extremely ‘conservative’.

And what’s wrong with being conservative? A voice asked.

Oh, quit talking you conscience of mine!

Okay, so there’s a problem. This dress seems to have missed me by a size. I’ve been trying to adjust my gown ever since we stepped into his car. How I got to wear this out beats me. How on earth do other ladies do and still feel comfortable?  

He is quick to notice how uncomfortable I am while driving me back home and when we arrive at a red traffic light his hand comes to rest on my arm gently.

“I love your dress.” He glances at my gown and lets his eyes settle on my thighs. The alarm in my head goes off again but what he says next leaves my throat dry. “And you have great legs.”

His lips curve into a smile and his eyes return to the road when the traffic lights turn green. Am I supposed to say anything? I suddenly begin to panic and my hand impulsively goes to button my jacket. I wouldn’t want my cleavage to be the next thing he admires.

It doesn’t take long before we get to my house, he turns off the ignition and looks into my eyes.

“Did you run back in high school?” He asks.

“No, but now that I think of it, I would have loved to.” I suspect he’s just trying to make me comfortable.

His eyes settle on my legs again and I’m wondering if there are tattoos on them. “Those legs need some sport.”

I nod like a child smiling and wondering what makes this statement sound funny to me. “I’ll think about it.”

He gives me a strange look and leaves me wondering if I had just wrongly interpreted his statement. My heart relaxes again when he smiles. It’s my first date and I’m probably just a little nervous.

“I hope you listen to the radio. I’m thinking of calling into one of those late-night shows and making a request for you tonight.”

Omg!... is this guy for real?

I know I should tell him I’d stopped listening to some secular songs but I blurted out and betrayed the warning inside me.

“Runaway by Styl Plus.” I smile at him.

“Well..” His gaze lingers on my lips. “I think you must have been reading my mind.”

And before I can say anymore, I feel his lips on mine. This is my first kiss ever and the suddenness of it coupled with my shyness startles me. He senses this and he encourages me further. He breaks free and I swallow as I feel his hands on my jacket as he nibbles my chin. It’s weird but exciting at the same time. Before I even have time to process what his lips are doing to me, he presses himself further.

I can feel the alarm in my head blaring loudly…and then I remember my V card when his hands slide to my thigh, and I immediately break free.

“I’m so sorry.” He apologizes almost immediately and settles back into his chair obviously trying to catch his breath and slightly embarrassed with the way I had pushed his hand away. I’m trying as much as possible to smoothen what I had left of my dress, glad he didn’t do something that I wouldn’t be able to get out of my head. I know I liked him but this is the last place I imagined losing my virginity.

“I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s okay.” That evil side of me is really growing wings and wants to continue till I’ve given everything to him. I wonder why my body responds this way to his when I’ve kept myself for so long telling myself I was strong and nothing could make me compromise or change my views.

It didn’t take much, did it?

He smiles sheepishly and nods. “I promise I won’t come onto you like that again without your consent, especially not in a car. Jeez! What was I thinking!” he runs a hand over his head and lets out a sigh. “You’re a wonderful person Lori and I never knew I felt this way about you until tonight. I saw you in that lovely dress tonight and I just lost it. I can’t believe I had this beautiful woman right before me all along and I let you slip away. Not again.” He breathes. “And your eyes…” He stops to caress my cheek and it’s in that moment I realize I still have feelings for him right from the first day I’d set my eyes on him.

I had only just suppressed it.

And if not for self-control, maybe I would have granted him access to my life once again, giving him my soul, spirit, and body.

“Let’s do this again. I’ll call you okay?” His hand slides to my arm and I nod dumbly.

He smiles and it takes everything for me not to melt with the desire in his eyes. “I’ll drive you closer to the house so that I can watch you go in.”

He drops me off and watches me as I stroll back to the house. On looking back at the door, I can see him waving from a distance. I wave back before removing the spare keys from my purse. I think I must have floated into the house because I can’t believe Remi Dauda kissed me. Not out of pity or peer pressure. He wanted me so bad he kissed me.

I turn on the lights just to see Feyi sitting in the kitchen staring back at me.

First, I can tell she’s shocked by what I’m wearing and secondly by what the time says – 11:30 p.m

I’m not ready to face any argument or any form of preaching or scolding so I remove my heels, pick them up, and head for my room hoping she won’t follow me. By the way, what in the world was she doing back here? She’d left earlier today so why is she here?

Feyi surprisingly doesn’t follow me in and relief floods my soul although a part of me feels I would have been better off if she actually said something. My phone vibrates disrupting my thoughts and I smile when I recognize the caller ID. I pick up as I sink into the bed.

“Hey.” He greets and my mind flashes back to our kiss in his car.

“Hmm…” I mumble already daydreaming again.

“I got through to the radio station and I made a special request for you. Your song should be the next one.”

Out of excitement, I giggle and hurriedly tune in to my favorite station where he left his romantic note and I listen as his message is read on my behalf:

You bring the spark to my life and you’re beautiful” from Remi to my girl Lori,” Kike, the host of the show reads. “And this is for you Lori, Runaway by Stylplus, I hope you think of me when you listen to this song.

Aww… we go love o… Kike says and her voice fades into the background as I reminisce on Remi’s note.

I hold myself from spilling out the words I love you on the phone when I realize he had addressed me as his girl.

Is it official? Am I his girlfriend? Is this how it happens? He just told the whole world that I’m his girl. I want to squeal with excitement.

“Sweet dreams, babe. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“You too.” I manage to say and hang up to fall back into my bed with a great sigh.

I pinch myself. Maybe I’ll wake up now. Maybe I’m beginning to live in those fantasies I created for myself years ago.

But no, it’s real.

Remi just kissed me.

He called the radio station to play my song.

He called me His girl.

It means Remi and I are officially dating.

I don’t know if this is what love feels like, but I’d gladly relive this moment for as long as I live.